As Mike and I trekked and climbed along the Great Himalaya Trail, I started keeping notes about what our bodies were up to. Looking back, it’s a mix of gross, funny, and somehow fascinating.

Here’s the full unedited list of what we experienced, with a few commentary notes…

• Bug bites all over calves. Some itched, some didn’t. We called them “mystery bumps.”
• Mucus production: more than usual, sometimes with a touch of blood after big passes. Around 4000m, I produced massive bright green morning boogers that weighted tissues like small runny paperweights.
• Edema at altitude making my face look like a marshmallow. Actually it started on the flights from Canada to Nepal and seemed to work upward from feet to face.
• Coughing when taking deep breaths or lying down. Breathing at altitude is apparently optional… according to our lungs.
• Really long saliva trails (about 30cm) – a sure warning of impending vomiting the following day.
• Dry, deeply cracked fingertips, with thumbs the worst. Weeks later, they finally forgave us.
• Sneezing at altitude early in the journey. Because why not make the core muscles work harder?
• Hair itchy only when hot and sweaty. Not at high altitude with drier air.

• Diamox side effects (we used it early on in the trip): tingling in upper lip, inside mouth, and cheeks. Numb ears. Frequent urination.
• Clothes smelled strangely sweet, even the merino: Eau de Himalaya.
• My lip blister refused to heal since Kanchenjunga Base Camp. Determined, like me, apparently.
• Weird swollen finger joint in Thame, caused by washing clothes in a bowl. Lesson learned: too much vigour handwashing and you risk a tendon injury.
• No poop over 5500m for three high passes. This counts as survival skill, right?
• Massive bruise inside right knee after Amphu Labsta. Mystery injuries add character.
• Never quite comfortable with sticky sweat, but we tried to embrace it as nothing lasts forever.
• Bug bites at lower elevations: red dots that sometimes formed mini pimples, then disappeared. Never knew what was biting us.
• Diarrhea and no appetite; fantasizing about home food but not hungry. Body has its own mind.
• Mike’s poop at Nema Kharka had gas bubbles the size you’d get in a glass of lemonade.
• Phantom leech feelings: sometimes nothing was there, yet legs disagreed.
• I went two weeks without any stomach grumbles; feeling physical hunger again after sending my gut bacteria on a rollercoaster of survival was a minor miracle.
• Huge knee pimple (not ingrown hair). Because knees also like drama.
• Leech bites: redness, itch, small hard pus crust forms. Nature’s tiny souvenirs.
• Hair didn’t dry for three days straight (sweat and high humidity) in lower regions. Gross feeling, wrap that sh*t up in a bandana and forget about it.

• Eyes stung from salty sweat.
• Sparkly skin from mica in rocks, sand, and water. Everywhere. Yes, even down there.
• Heat rash on ankle with leech bites and shoes rubbing.
• Immersion foot and tender wrinkles from wet feet not drying enough.
• I could not stomach the bars we bought with us to eat, not even the smell. Transitioned to copious amounts of Nebico Coconut Cookies as fuel.

• Waiting for leech bites to heal: itch, redness, crust.
• Red patch in fingernails. Mysterious, but stylish.
• Little red bites that appear and become itchy days later. Nature’s long game.
• Numb big toe on right foot, mildly numb left (“Christmas toes” from flatter trails). Toe politics.
• Morning stretch in the sleeping bag the calves feel like they might cramp, but never do.
• Thumbs getting really tanned. Small victories.
• Sudden stomach cramps, mainly right side under rib, same as when very sick. Consistency is key?
• Bone growing on insteps, red after taking shoes off. So it’s not just my ski boots ruining my feet.
• Wondering if we have worms. The trail sparks such questions.

• Mike’s infected belly button. Yes. Gross.
• My super tight calves leading to stabbing feet arches (relieved by releasing inner calf muscle).
• Tingling cheeks after two 5000m+ passes in Dolpo. No diamox. Weird.
• Stabbing pain under arch, inner calves crampy, inner knee pain on left side. Basically a full-body warning system.
• Dry, peeling skin on back of calves like a light snowfall. Shower deprivation strikes again.
• I somehow finished long days at altitude on <1L water and minimal food (1 x tortilla wrap and Hariboo wine gums). Body = amazing for 3 days but not healthy.

• Wiping face with toilet paper revealed old sunscreen, dirt, sweat, like cleaning a dusty window.
• Sticky eyelids. Constant reminder of sweat.
• Dog bite and rabies shots in both arms, three times. Well done Mike.
• Mike’s hives from nettles that lasted a week or more. Nettles: 1, Mike: 0.
• Chafing on road walking days with less incline (thanks butt cheeks). Lucas’ PawPaw Ointment did the trick.

The Great Himalaya Trail is a scenic full-body endurance test. If you go, pack Polysporin (antibiotic ointment), patience, curiosity, and a sense of humour. Read more about our adventures here.